Happy

Every once and a while you meet these people that make you think that just maybe you’ve been doing something right after all to deserve them in your life. 

Back Again

It has been AGES since I’ve last posted. I’ve mostly been journaling instead. I can be raw with my feelings and emotions that way cos no one else will see that. 

I’ve recently gotten back into my photography. I’m so happy and excited about that. It’s been a while since I’ve taken a hold of my camera and really take picture. I’m glad I’m tapping into this creative side again. 

I’ve been heading out a lot recently to just explore the world confined around me in the city of LA. So much to do and so much to see. I want to do a lot more. I want to feel alive. I want to chase these feelings and let them out in a creative way. It’s like chasing electricity. It’s a drug I crave. 

I was digging through old photos of my Europe trip and found some amazing shots back when I began with my first DSLR. 

The travel bug has struck. I want to head out and explore. I want to see the world. I am beginning with the states. I have a road trip on the books for April. Traveling through Route 66. The thought of it just makes me beam with excitement. 

Tapping into my creative side really makes me want to blog more. Just so I can post more and jot things down….. To post pictures of the many adventures I partake in. 

Let’s see how this goes…… 

2016

We’re 1/4 of the way into 2016 and I have to say it’s been one of the best years in a long time. So much has happened and I’m excited for what’s to come.

I’ve lost contact with some friends, made some new friendships and have even reconnected with friends from my past. 

I’m a tad nervous and scared for a few things, but can’t let those feelings take over and run my life. Gotta just see where the rest of this ride will take me. 

FutureSex/LoveSounds

I recently heard this song again. It’s been over a year since I’ve listened to it and it made me think of the past. Not what I expected, but what can I do. It’s funny how surprisingly accurate the lyrics are. I had to gender swap, but the point remained the same…..

  
🎶You know what you want
And that makes you just like me
See everybody says you’re hot baby
But can you make it hot for me?

Said if you’re thinking about holding back
Don’t worry boy, cause I’m gonna make it so easy
So slide a little bit closer to me baby boy
See daddy’s on a mission to please, wait a second

He’s hopped up on me, I’ve got him in my zone
His body’s pressed up on me, I think He’s ready to blow
Must be my FutureSex/LoveSound
And when it goes down, baby all ya gotta do is

Just tell me which way you like that
All you gotta do is tell me which way you like that
Do you like it like this? Do you like it like that?
Tell me which way you like that
Tell me which way you like that

You can’t stop baby
You can’t stop once you’ve turned me on
And your enemies are your thoughts baby
So just let em go
Cause all I need is a moment alone to give you my tongue
And put you outta control
And after you let it in, we’ll be skin to skin
It’s just so natural, wait a second

He’s hopped up on me, I’ve got him in my zone
His body’s pressed up on me, I think He’s ready to blow
Must be my FutureSex/LoveSound
And when it goes down, baby all ya gotta do is🎶

Fun times! 

Past Lover

Dear Chubbo Wubbo,

I read an article online today asking ‘what would you say in a letter to the love of your first relationship?’ I thought about it and it made me smirk. It made me reflect back on our past and I find it funny that in high school we were in a one year relationship that no one knew about. Well almost no one….with the exception of Blanca and Maggie. Guess we have them to thank for everything that transpired. It was that Truth or Dare game that started it all. Or was it that Taco Bell outing…..? I can’t recall what happened first, but all I know is that when we locked eyes, I knew that that was it for me.

I was in 9th grade and you were in 10th. Although it was probably puppy love, it was love -in the young high school teenage aspect of the word. You will always be my first in ALMOST everything that is expected in a relationship. I grew and got to really know a lot more of myself in that year. Being young and adventurous with what little we could do really was something. Some creativity took place too, I might add. Ahh, the memories.

More that a decade has passed us by and our contact is very minimal, almost non existent to be honest. Although we don’t talk, we still maintain some form of contact through social media; liking each other’s pictures and yearly happy birthday messages.

You found love, are in a long term relationship and he seems to make you really happy, and that makes me happy for you because you deserve it, you truly do. I hope I’m lucky enough to one day find what you have found in him with someone.

I guess what I’m trying to say is thanks. It was my first real relationship and it opened my eyes to a lot of things; specifically learning a lot more about myself as an individual. Granted, it took me years to acknowledge over half of them, but better late than never, right? Thanks for helping me find myself, for teaching me that I was unique and special, that I was always loved and that I mattered to you in this crazy world. I don’t know if you know this, but I appreciated it then, and I still appreciate it now. I never took that for granted. I may not have showed it back then, but over a decade later, I realize that that time I spent with you helped set the foundation for many things in my life. That’s something that can never be taken away, not ever and I’ll always be greatful for the time I had with you.

With Love,
Charlie

DTLA Adventures

So last week I ended up going out to bars 5 out of 7 days. Suffice to say, I had plenty of fun this past week. To call each outing an adventure is an understatement. 

So many memories were made and I got to meet some new people, which was super fun. This is my favorite thing on my phone from the past week:
  

Thanks guys for helping me make this past week one of the best so far this year. 

My Bartender

 How awesome is it to have a bartender that hooks you up? Let me tell you, it’s fucking awesome!! The fact that he’s also a hottie really is the icing on the cake. Free drinks, great conversations, I mean what else can I ask for? I don’t take advantage though, as I generously tip each and every time. I mean generously, so I think that helped a lot too. Makes me look humble, appreciative and greatful, which I am. 

I have a feeling the first time was just him being generous. That then turned into him recognizing me, and followed by the awesome treatment I get every single time I go in. Free beers, mixed drinks, and shots of his favorite liquor. I gotta say, I’m super happy and greatful. 

Thank you Jessica, you wonderful and beautiful girl, for the marvelous introduction. Love you!!

Déjà Vu

  
I’m developing a crush again. Only this time the circumstances are a lot different, and I’m interested to see where this leads me. They say curiosity killed the cat and if that’s the case then this curious feline is doomed. 

I’m trying to keep my expectations on check, because let’s face it, when you don’t, things don’t always turn out the way you hope. I have to keep in mind that crushes tend to be an idolization of a person, so I can’t be shocked if it doesn’t live up to my expectations. But this time, it may live up to it. Key word: may.  Too good to be true? Possibly, but in life the future isn’t written, so the possibilities are endless. 

I don’t want to be left wondering “what if?” Worst case scenario is we end up becoming friends. If that’s the worst that can happen, then I shouldn’t worry at all.  

Gut Instinct

My last post was dedicated to taking things at face value. Well that shit just flew out the window when I was placed in a situation of seeing my last fling at a bar on a date, and being a bit too boozed up to think clearly. It’s so stupid. I don’t know why I half converted into a teenage girl and we both played the “I saw you and you saw me” game, but neither one of us would initiate the first move in starting a conversation. I could be wrong and he probably wanted to just ignore me or didn’t think of me at all, but I don’t think so…..

I should have gone with my gut instinct. It told me to just go up and say, “hey! How are you? Hope everything has been good. Just wanted to stop ya to say hi. Enjoy the rest of your night.” But nope, that didn’t happen.

What’s done is done. You live and you learn. Next time regardless of what happens, I will trust my gut and do what it tells me.

Face Value

I tried to convince myself that I was going to stop fucking with somebody, but then there I was waiting on them to do something to change my mind.

I’ve decided to stop the bullshit and take things for face value. People show you who they are. We can’t hope that they will change, because they won’t. If they act and treat you like they don’t care or give a shit, then they really don’t care or give a shit. 

This goes for everyone: friends, family, dating, ect.  I’m tired and done wasting my time and effort. I deserve better.